Sunday, April 1, 2012
Exclusive: Fwooper’s Take Over Staff Room!
IS YOUR STASH SAFE?!
The Blog Squad bring you this exclusive story!
At approximately 10:57pm last night the entire House Cup Staff were held hostage by a group of rogue Fwoopers!
Our sources reveal that the Fwoopers had made ransom demands involving large amounts of acrylic yarn, 2 barrels of apple cider and a half dozen broken knitting needles!
At this time it is uncertain whether their demands were met, although we can reveal that our Headmistress was seen to be negotiating with the Head Fwooper, known only as ‘Code Name: Cable’.
Several members of staff are said to have been forced to stash raid to meet the Fwoopers demands.
One member of staff gave this account of the events which took place;
“I didn’t really realise that something was happening until I came back from my House Common room to find a trail of Fwooper …droppings leading up to the hidden Staff Room door.
Upon entering, I discovered many of the members of staff searching frantically through their stashes, and urgent messages were been sent to both the Ravenclaw Lab taps and the Slytherin Bar to gather as much apple cider as was possible.
There were these strange creatures everywhere….I could see one of them was talking directly to NNS and so, making sure I was not seen, I snuck back out of the room, I only just made it back here with my yarn stash intact!!”
Students of Hogwarts are asked to express extreme caution if they spot any Fwooper related objects around the castle, as these birds are believed to be armed with acrylic yarn and therefore extremely dangerous.
An example of Fwooper droppings! Please note their extreme likeness to the common household button, proceed with extra caution!
Although it is unconfirmed at the moment, experts suggest that by creating a likeness of the creatures droppings and scattering it around any personal items, the Fwooper may be deterred from entering the area, as in Fwooper politics, this is considered an act of extreme oddness.
Students are (unofficially) advised to attempt to create Fwopper Poop look-alikes!
We have it on good authority from Staff Member GazeboGal (who is rumoured to have dealt with Fwoopers before) that these 'look-a-like' Fwooper Poops, are likely to deter the birds from peoples stash!
Example of 'look-a-like' Fwooper Poop!
If you are approached by a Fwooper, your best chance of escaping with all your yarn stash is to follow Ministry advice.
If a Fwooper you should spy,
Try not to look them in the eye,
Instead begin to sing a tune,
Then they will surely leave the room!
Artist's impression of a Fwooper.
Happy April Fools!