Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Ask A Ravenclaw

::Person! Person! Quick answer question!::
::Maybe get Monkey off our backs?::

Peck flies in and drops a banana-peel-smudged note in Soprano1's lap.

Dear Soprano1,

Why is it that not one Head of House at Hogwarts has a prehensile tail?  Does no one appreciate the importance of being able to swing from the rafters to oversee student activity?  Should not the next Ravenclaw Head of House have a tail?  Wouldn't that be much better for everybody?  Isn't it completely obvious?  Or perhaps your feeble brains simply can't appreciate the beauty and perfection inherent in this statement.

Banana Breath

Soprano1 sighs and looks around.  She spots TriGirlJ in the corner handing out badges with bananas on them and calls her over. 

Whatcha got there, TriGirlJ?

This?  Oh, this is Toppington von Monacle's campaign button.

Wait... let me get this straight.  The monkey we, er, found on the Mutation Table in the Spring of 2010 is campaigning for Head of House?

Oh, come on, Soprano1, it's not like he didn't earburn you in his Open Letter to the Headmistress.

Soprano1 clears her throat and looks down at her shoes.

You may have a point, there, TriGirlJ.  You've decided to support Toppington's candidacy then, eh?  What convinced you?

Well, he's for... tails! and math!  and he's against fondoo and marshmallows... I don't exactly support him in those stances but...

He gave me a button.  I like it.  It has a banana.

Quite.  Er... does anyone know... can a monkey campaign for Head of House?  Can anyone campaign for Head of House?  I was only a First Year when CMelvin retired; I barely knew where the Common Room was.  I don't remember there being a campaign, though.

Well, I don't have all the answers, but I must say, it's been a lively week in The Tower.  Fortunately we had Hogsmeade Weekend to distract us from politics!  And perhaps when we meet again we'll know whether the next Ravenclaw Head of House can--or should--be a simian.


isisonearth said...

I'd like to clear up a mis-conception that Toppington is laboring under. Campaigning to be HoH is not at all the standard procedure. There is not any sort of election involved.

I, as the current HoH, will make recommendations to the Leadership Team who will then select the person they feel has the best qualifications and experience for the job.

Although I have come to appreciate many of Toppington's fine qualities, he is not someone I can comfortably recommend. His plan to eliminate Knitting and crochet from the curriculum is a deal breaker for me.

Anonymous said...

As HoH Emeritus, I must concur with my esteemed HoH. Toppington, put down the buttons...